Feelings and Trust
by Blue reminisce
Summary: Sebastian who had never failed him, yet he thought bitterly, this was a dream, one he couldn't get out of, and the one place which the demon butler couldn't enter. A One-Shot collection of how trust was born out of emotions between this pair. SebaCiel feels :)
1. 1- Nightmares - Protection

**Hello there ^^**

**EDIT: I have decided to make this into a collection of SebaCiel One-Shots, so each chapter will be a new one-shot...no idea how many I'm going to do but I'm just exploring what I can do with this collection with the central theme as Sebastian's and Ciel's relationships, their emotions, their feelings and their trust. And also perhaps portraying Sebastian's more inner human emotions, on top of his demon side ^^**

**So here I am another first timer trying out some darker stuff, that focuses more on character emotions, I took two days to write it...and I still dunno what to make of it...**

**I'm assuming you read Kuroshitsuji Mangas and if you could take that you can probably take this...I think... It's a SebaCiel pairing...obviously...and to give you an idea of the time frame it's probably when Sebastian and Ciel were still feeling out their roles as master and butler~**

******Credits to the person who drew the pretty picture that I used for the cover :3 **

**So, hope you like it~**

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_Darkness._

_Pain. _

_Blood._

_Hands, sliding down his body._

_Voices, whispering, mocking, unrelenting._

_He let out, a scream, but only a hoarse sound came out, he'd already screamed his vocal cords raw._

_Trapped in a nightmare, he couldn't get out of._

Xxx

A muffled voice forced Sebastian to pause mid stride though the darkened hallways, smartly turning on his heel, he walked briskly back to his young masters bedroom. Slipping in, he watched the slight figure on the bed, illuminated by the sliver of moonlight that streamed in through the gap in the curtians. He watched his young master moan, his head titled up, sweat gleaming on his forehead in the moonlight, hands clawing at the sheets, as if trying to resist something.

It wasn't the first time this happened, some times Sebastian had just guarded his young master, watching over him while he finally, surrendered to sleep, after all he had to take good care of the body and mind of the one who's soul he was eventually going to take. He hadn't felt the need to comfort...what an odd word for his proud master, and he didn't think that his young master would welcome it either. The thought of revenge was probably the only thing that conciously kept Ciel away from the memories of his past, but his thoughts unguarded in the night, brought back unbidden images of the past.

He watched Ciel for a while more...feeling a tinge of regret for not be able to help but quickly pushed the thought away. He turned to leave his masters room, Ciel was going to be cranky enough as it was because of the lack of sleep, but he had many things to be done before dawn broke and Lady Elizabeth's first visit was near.

"No...don't ..."

Sebastian's hand froze on the door knob, glancing back, he saw his young master still in deep sleep and Ciel never talked in his sleep, some bit of stubbornness clinging on to him to not make a word even when his dreams tormented him.

"Don't ...no..." the voice was laced with pain.

The raven haired man, dropped his hand to his side.

"S-stop...please..." the boy pleaded, scrunching up the linen around him, like something was pinning Ciel there.

The uncharacteristic sound from his young master made Sebastian flinch for a second, what was this? A hint of concern...a feeling of pain for the boy that was lost to his nightmares. Was his stone cold once human heart starting to stir again? He clamped down on that thought, no...the day the was made into what he was now, had sealed his unstable human side for good, a barrier coming up between his heart and head, and he had left the former to starve and decay, certain that it had, by now, suffered in the cruelty of acts that he had done for his own selfish needs before meeting his master.

Shrugging out of his outer jacket, he dropped into the heavy arm chair that stood facing the bed, lost in his thoughts, Sebastian watched his young master quietly.

Xxx

_Silence._

_He stilled, pain still wrecking his body, the violating hands gone. The burn of open wounds that ran down his back, no longer aggravated, but settled into a more manageable throb._

_He closed his eyes and swallowed thickly, even his sliva felt corse against his throat. He knew what was going to happen next, after all the haunting dreams made sure he relived every moment of it._

_They had positioned him on his front, fabric swaddling him around his hip, his wrists tied to the marble platform, not that it mattered since he was too weak to move._

Xxx

The red eyed demon watched as Ciel's breathing started to even out, he wearily eyed the boy, one thing he couldn't do was read minds, and he was uncertain if this episode was over. His train of thought stopped there, uncertainty was human...and he definitely didn't want to be human...they say taking on a contact for a soul changed you...was this it?

Xxx

_Smoke._

_There was certainly fire._

_A clang of metal._

_Metal striking metal._

_The sound harsh on his ears. A pair of calloused hands, ran down his side._

Xxx

It was small, almost impossible to detect, a tremor ran though Ciel's body. Sebastian wanted to still the trembling boy. And yet, he was frustrated for the first time in a long time, why did he feel so protective over his young master? This was contract, business, and he had no business in this, none. But he couldn't tear his eyes away from the shaking figure lying crumpled on the freshly laid sheets.

"Se-Sebas..."

The man jerked out of the chair, it was barely a whisper, and yet it tugged Sebastian to his feet, his right knee pressing against the edge of the bed, a hand hovering over Ciel's shoulder.

Xxx

_He trembled, the touches were now soft, glaring juxtaposed to the pain he had received before. Feather caresses against his back, mapping out his skin, as if trying to trace something onto his back. He wanted out, it tortured him to know what was coming, and still be powerless to stop it. A lucid mind in a helpless body._

_The hands, suddenly stopped, tapping his lower back, toward one side, as if in satisfaction._

_He heard a soft chink...metal again._

_His mind panicked, no...he didnt want to go though it again, and a name came unbidden to his lips, "Se-Sebas..."_

_He twisted his head around, all he could see was the glow of the iron, slowly making it's way toward his unprotected back, "Sebastian...!" he screamed._

_Sebastian who had never failed him, yet he thought bitterly, this was a dream, one he couldn't get out of, and the one place which the demon butler couldn't enter._

Xxx

His name from his masters mouth, jolted him, like cold water poured over his heart. It was an order, a cry of desparation. He sank into the empty space next to Ciel, and pulled the boy into his lap, running comforting lines down Ciel's shaking back, he murmured, "I am here, my Lord."

The next moment Ciel twisted, fingers scraping against Sebastian's chest, struggling.

And then his young master screamed.

Xxx

_Agony._

_Like barbs of fire that raced down his spine. _

_He tugged violently at his bonds._

_The arid smell of burning flesh._

_Iron hard and unyielding, pressed into his back._

_The cackle of amusement from his tormentor, the only time ever he heard his captors._

_Mocking his helplessness._

_He screamed, oh how he cried, the sound forcing its way past his sore throat._

_And then, just like the previous times, his dream finally let him go._

Xxx

Sebastian felt rather than saw Ciel, waking from his dream. The boy's body, going rigid, and then his oddly mismatched eyes snapping open. Unseeing, staring into space, seemingly unaware that he was in Sebastian's arms. He whimpered, a small soft cry, as the scar on his back, flared back to life, he curled up, as if the pain would leave if he made himself a small enough target, that's how he'd always coped. It was as if the keepers of his nightmares didn't want to let him go, clinging on to whatever misery they could inflict on him, emotionally or not.

Sebastian tightened his embrace around Ciel, holding the still trembling figure, he felt he slight contractions of muscle, knowing that his young master was in pain, he moved slow deliberately, wishing to loosen the bunched knot of muscle. Ciel suddenly went stiff, the movements of Sebastian's hands, shaking him back to reality.

Then he moved into action, harshly shoving away the arms that held him. He hated being weak, even in this state he was prideful enough to push his butler away, how ever much he wanted the comfort, craved it after the brutality done to his mind, he couldn't bring himself to accept it.  
When Sebastian didn't yield, Ciel turned and said roughly, voice thick with strain, "Let go, Sebastian."

"No," the other man said simply, shocking himself more than Ciel. Since when had he cared enough to disobey an order, he was conflicted, and once again, that was human, and he wasn't human...so why? Ciel stared at his butler, he tried to recall the last time Sebastian had defied an order, his head hurt remembering, but his mind eventually drew up a blank.

Ciel shook, it wrecked his small frame, he didn't know what horrified him more, the fact that he wanted to hear the firm 'no' from his servant's lips, or that he realized that Sebastian was very much capable of defying him.  
Ciel rejected the former thought, stubbornly wanting to correct that, he remembered Sebastian telling him how to give an Order, stilling the tremble in his voice as much as he could, he said, "T-this is an order! Let go, Sebastian!"

The twin contract symbols started to glow, and unbeknown to Ciel, a short sharp pulsing pain ran though Sebastian's body, starting from the intricate tattoo on his hand and spreading thoughout his body. It was the contracts way of motivation, he supposed, a kind of pain that was internally inflicted by the contract, one that he could feel and quite acutely too. Gritting his teeth, he refused to let go, he knew Ciel needed this, his mind screaming at him to just obey, throwing logical reasons at him.

Feeling the shock run though his master at his persistent defiance, through his own pain, Sebastian was struck by how fragile the person he was holding was. While he had known, the snarky, brash, selfish young Earl that the world knew, was just a carefully crafted veneer, he had bought the act too and forgotten that beneath that was a child forced to grow up too fast. That was what attracted him to Ciel's soul in the first place. So tainted, and yet, a part was still childishly waiting, naively wait for, of someone who cared, and ironically it was him, the only one who could see though the mask.

He cared.

"Why," Ciel's shoulders slumped in defeat, physically in pain, and mentally still undecided if he wanted Sebastian to obey, or be glad he didn't.

Sebastian was panting slightly now, the act of disobeying his master's orders punishing him. But the feel of Ciel crumpling into his embrace, made it worth it.

"Why do you care..." Ciel whispered, laying his head down, letting Sebastian gently massage his tense muscles, not even noticing the effect of not obeying orders had on his butler.

Sebastian tried to ignore the stabbing pains, they were slowing now, his master's intent in the order gone, but the pressure would still be there, pressing on his temples make his head hurt until he carried out the order or a new one was given. There was silence for awhile, as the raven haired man thought of how best to answer his young master's question, he would never openly admit he cared...and then he laughed to himself, they were sometimes alike in that aspect, too proud to admit anything, so he settled for the next best answer, "Because you are my master."

Yes, of course, what a logical answer, Ciel thought foolishly, what more had he been hoping for. Certainly not concern, let alone...lo- ... he let himself not think about it. But, he did feel, secure, protected, and this demon knew a hundred different ways to kill him, but now held him like a fragile piece of China.

Probing a sensitive spot, Ciel shivered as Sebastian's hands reached his scar, he closed his eyes, and a flash of memory came back to him, "no..." he said suddenly, bolting from the touch.

Sebastian frowned, Ciel moving away fulfilled the 'let go' of the order, and Sebastian felt his head clear. "Young master," he said reasonably, "your tense muscles will only keep you awake later, and bother you thoughout the day."

Ciel fought to listen to the rational line of his butler, but any touch there was too much too soon, in reminded him of his shame, and he hated remembering that moment of humiliation, of pain...but he didn't want to do it alone any more, today was the one night where he sought his servant in his dreams, surely it was an indicator that maybe...just maybe it was time to trust his red eyed butler.

"Sebastian..."Ciel said in a lost voice, "you will never betray me."

"Yes, My lord."

"You will protect me," Ciel said, voice a little stronger.

"Always, My lord."

"Will you..." Ciel paused and tried again, "can you protect me from my...my dreams?"

Ciel felt the bed shift, Sebastian's body pressed to his from behind, "If you let me..." his butler replied, breath ticking his ear.

A hand, trailed lightly over the marred skin though the fabric of his nightshirt, then pressing slowly, he rubbed circles around the bunched muscles, drawing a hiss of pain from Ciel, working silently, he finally felt the last knots loosen reluctantly, rewarding him with a sigh from the boy.

Exhaustion took over Ciel, the promise from Sebastian had to be enough, he titled his head back into Sebastian's arms, "You'll never tell anyone about this, Sebastian."

"Of course, young master," he brushed the fringe away from Ciel's forehead.

"And Sebastian, stay with me tonight?" it was a hesitant question, born of uncertainly if his butler would obey him.

"I will...sleep, My lord." Sebastian coaxed, physically shielding the boy with his body.

Head against Sebastian's lap, Ciel weary to fall asleep, eventually succumbed to slumber.

Sebastian watched his master's breathing even out, slightly surprised when a leg curled possessively around him, he couldn't help in Ciel's dreams, but he could be here to care for his master and hold him through it like today. He cared...he still marveled, he hadn't cared for anything in such a long time, after being dead to such emotions, and Ciel had some how thawed his cold heart a little. He decided he would guard this new feeling of his, no one would ever know what he found today.

He hoped that his young master wouldn't mind breakfast a little late tomorrow.

Xxx

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**Thanks for reading!**

**I still have no idea how I feel about this piece...quite conflicted actually...but if you do, feel free to share :)**


	2. 2 - Ring - Inheritance

**Hello...**

**So the second piece in this collection of SebaCiel one-shots that I'm trying is in no way related to the first chapter. And to give you a general idea of the timeline it is within the first few days of Sebastian and Ciel meeting.**

**^^ hope you like it**

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Sebastian turned the silver piece of metal about his fingers.  
The crystal blue catching the light, the claws that held the jem possessively in it's place, detailed yet, simple in its complexity.

He'd chanced upon it completely by accident, following the boy's ...his Master's orders, he corrected himself, to clear out the charred remains of the once beautiful mansion, and to throw out everything and build a more grand one on top of it.

A feat that he could accomplish within the next few days...

He was standing among the ashes, the fire that razed the land, did a good job of leaving nothing behind, almost...nothing.

For atop a rotting dresser, still stood an once ornate chest, blackened by the blaze, but still held its prize intact, contradicting the sorry state of everything else. A survivor.

Sebastian's lips quirked, much like his young master, even the shade of brilliant blue which glimmered, matched the boy's single eye that was not marred by the contract. It sparkled as if it kept secrets, silently bearing it's wearers stories.

He pocketed the ring, slipping it easily into his coat, before deciding that he had delayed enough admiring the jewelry, and carried on with his task of rebuilding the Phantomhive mansion.

Xxx

Sebastian entered the room of his young master, while the mansion was in progress the butler had taken liberties to ensure that Ciel still had the best, quickly buying over a modest property from an eager landlord that he paid handsomely, especially to keep his mouth shut about a well dressed man carrying an almost unconscious child for that matter.

Ciel sat in the high back chair and watched wearily at the man who entered his rooms, while the man had saved him from his ordeal, and because of the contact could not harm him, he still did not trust him any more or less than his captors...for now...

"Young Master...I have recovered this from your property..." Sebastian said carefully, reaching into his pocket and setting the glinting ring on the table.

Catching sight of the azure stone, Ciel's eyes widened fractionally, a flash of memory coming over him...

_A warm hand in his._

_He was happy... content, today was his first presentation to the Queen._

_His Father was proud._

_The hand moved to ruffle his hair, he leaned into the touch, looking up in awe at the ring upon his father's hand. _

His Father which was now dead, his mind told him coldly.

"I told you to bring nothing back, Sebastian," Ciel said as calmly as he could, inside his head was hurting, he didn't want the memories of his family, too painful...too raw...amplifying the feeling that he was an orphan... alone.

Sebastian expression turned to confusion, he'd seen it throught the years and he knew humans were sentimental creatures, why wasn't this young master clinging on to this one remaining relic of his past.

"It is the last thing you hav-" Sebastian started.

"Shut up, just take it away!" Ciel shouted, he didn't want to see it, he didn't want to see it, bringing his knees up, he hugged them around his chest, uncaring if he was scuffing the leather chair with his shoes...

_"Ciel, one day when you are strong, you will inherit this ring," his father told him one night as he was tucked into bed._

_"When will I be strong?" he sleepily wondered out loud._

_"Soon...son...soon..." he heard, as he felt the cold metal of the small band against his forehead as his father brushed his hair back._

His young master trembled, the small figure made even smaller when he curled into the chair. Sebastian moved to block the view of the ring he brought back, still slightly confused over his master's reaction.

"I'm...not strong..." Ciel tilted his cheek to one side, letting it rest against his knees, his father said he could only inherit the ring if he was strong, and he wasn't...he didn't feel strong, he couldn't even stop the violation of his own body...he couldn't even fight back...he couldn't even do a bloody damn thing as those masked men had their way. He was weak...he wasn't strong and he wasn't worthy...

Sebastain thought he heard wrong. His young master...not strong? If his master wasn't strong, there was no way he could be summoned, no way that he would agree to a contract that was as binding as the one he was in and he would never bow down to one he didn't think was worthy.

"I couldn't do anything..." the small voice continued, no tears...he'd vowed never again to shed them ... just anguish over the unsure steps that he had to take, he watched Sebastian as his butler dropped to one knee.

"My Lord, you would be foolish to think you are weak, you were strong to have survived, you were strong to give me my first order, you were strong then and you are strong now," snatching the blue jewel off the table, he offered it to his Lord, "why do you question what is rightfully yours."

"You don't ..." Ciel started, staring at his butler.

"You think you are not worthy, but here I am telling you that you are, I serve no master that is weak," Sebastian continued.

"But..."

"Giving excuses and shirking your duties in fear is unbecoming of a Lord, you are the Earl ...Ciel Phantomhive, so claim the title as yours," Sebastian pressed, placing a hand on his heart and dropping his gaze.

Ciel's eyes blazed at the mention of his butler thinking he was afraid, but then dimmed when he realized that it was true, he looked down at the figure that was his butler, here was a man telling him that he was strong. That his inheritance was his to take. That he was chosen, special and worthy. Most importantly, this powerful demon was kneeling in front of him, had pledged his alligence to him, that had to mean something. And so strangely enough, barely as he knew him, he believed his words. What did this man see in him? For now he couldn't figure it out, and it didn't matter, as Ciel's gaze hardened, he wouldn't live under the shadow of fear that he couldn't live up to his fathers name, uncurling his hands and dropping his feet back to the floor, resolve seeping into his heart, "I am Ciel Phantomhive, also the Earl of Phantomhive, and I will claim what is rightfully mine."

A smile twitched on Sebastian's face, before he slipped the ring onto Ciel's finger and then rising, frowning a little at the size.

"I can have that resized, My Lord," Sebastain offered.

"There wil be no need for that Sebastian," Ciel countered, slipping it off his forefinger and onto his thumb, stroking it thoughtfully. He pressed his palm to the surface of the window, the soft chink of metal against glass, he was claiming everything that was his father's, was now his...

"Why?"

"Why?" Sebastian answered with a questioning lilt.

"Why me?" Ciel clarified further.

Sebastian came from behind him, and Ciel stiffened before reluctantly relaxing into the demon's hold, a cold hand slid up to cover his now unusually coloured eye, the twin symbols, one etched onto his eye and the other on his butler's hand aligned.

The older man coolly observed the boy though muted reflections in the pane of the window, "why indeed..."

"Do not mock me, Sebastian," Ciel whispered.

"Never, My Lord, I merely thought the answer is obvious," Sebastian breathed, his finger tips brushing over soft lashes, as he splayed his fingers slightly revealing the contact mark on his master's eye, pleased on the inside with his handiwork, "the strength of your soul..."

Sebastian's voice dropped even lower, seductive almost, "...the fire that kindles it, that burns with your thoughts of revenge, yet tempered an innocence so tainted..."

Ciel trembled at the words carcassing his senses.

"...you were scared, uncertain and unsure...but now ... there is determination and resolve, this is the kind of soul that tempts me, the kind of soul I crave..." Sebastian brought up his other hand, resting his palm against the back of his Master's hand, interspacing his fingers with the smaller ones resting on the stained glass.

Running a thumb over the blue crystal, Sebastian murmured, "You will be a good and worthy Master..."

"This ring has witnessed the deaths of all it owners, and one day it will observe mine as well," Ciel said, almost hynotised by the sunset rays that streamed inbetween their fingers.

"Yes, it will My Lord, but not anytime soon, you have much to do," Sebastian tilted his head and whispered into his masters ear, not denying at all the fate that his young master would suffer eventually. Ciel shivered at the straightforward words, he will die by his butler's hands, by the hands that now touched him carefully, but until then Sebastian was his, as much as he was Sebastian's as well he realised, as per the agreement marked in their skin. Still, a lingering childish part of him wanted to live up to his butler's expectations, to be a strong master.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, "How long till the mansion is ready?" Ciel asked.

"Tomorrow night, it will be done," Sebastian answered, thinking to himself that he could push it to completion tomorrow if he made haste.

"Good," Ciel murmured, he had much to do in the months that he had missed, accounts to catch up, things he had to learn, and people to meet, he slid his captured hand from the grasp of his butler, fully feeling the weight that the ring, now his, carried. Reaching up, he covered Sebastian's hand with his own, removing his butler's hold over his eye.  
First, he had to rebuild the Phantomhive name, but before that...

"Bring me evening tea Sebastian," Ciel said, releasing the hand and taking a step forward. Hearing the click of the door, Ciel clenched his now ringed hand, his butler's touch still lingered, ghosting over his oddly colored eye as well...little did he know that Sebastian was going to be his pillar in this arc of his life.

Xxx  
**Thanks for reading!**  
**Share your thoughts about it :)**  
**And mata na :)**


	3. 3 - First venture - First kill

**Hello there...**

**The third piece in this series yay...or not...I dunno...okay...anyway...**

**This one, was to fulfill a personal fantasy involving these two though, so yea...it might be OOC for some people.**

**Also, it's written in this way, because I wanted to try my hand at flashbacks kinda thing.**

**A kind reminder that this is in no way related to the first two stories :)**

**Hope you'll like it :)**

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How did he get here?

He couldn't remember...

He tilted his head up, arms limp by his side, water ran down in rivulets, sluicing over his body, mimicking the way his thoughts in his head ran about the events in the morning...sliding though his head... moving... flashing... none which seemed to stand still long enough for him to catch it...

Xxx

_Ciel glanced at the proposal and contract on the table once more, while he was confident it was perfect, the fact that it was his first time closing any business deal made him jittery. Tea had been set and awaited his guest._

_Sebastian could feel the tension in the air, he knew it was unconscious on his young masters part, but such an atmosphere would make any kind of transaction terrible._

_A tapping foot gave Ciel away, as his nerves got the better of him, gently placing a gloved hand on his young masters knee, he stilled the boy and murmured, "Relax, young master."_

_"I'm trying to, Sebastian," Ciel snapped at his butler, he didn't need any reminders, it's just that ... He sighed. He didn't feel ready, but this was a necessary step in the process of building the company...would he ever be ready, it didn't matter anymore it seemed as the sound of the brass knocker at his front door reverberated though the empty house._

_He nodded once to this butler, dismissing him to get the door._

_A knock was all the warning Ciel had before his guest entered._

_"Lord Blackmore," Sebastian shortly introduced, giving a little bow._

_Standing Ciel gestured toward the opposite seat, the old Lord looked lecherous in Ciel's eyes as he fought to keep his expression blank, a company as small as his now could not afford choose his business partners...yet. Sebastian poured the tea, placing neatly sliced pastries onto plates before turning to his young master's side._

_"So, Earl Phantomhive, shall we get on with business?" the man leered, his eyes flicking up to the butler._

_Ciel caught the gesture, and smiled tightly, he wished he could keep Sebastian by his side but reluctantly dismissed him in the end..._

Xxx

Business.

That dirty gaze of that man sent a shudder through Ciel's body, disgusting filthy pedophile...would he always be seen like this? A child to be taken advantage of...

He clenched his fist on the bathroom tile...

Xxx

_Lord Blackmore, didn't reach for the dessert, his eyes were sliently roaming over Ciel's form, he reached over the small table, a cold clammy finger tracing Ciel's jawbone. _

_"Buisness is all fine, however you are but a small company why should I supply you..." Ciel froze, unable to do anything, unable to pull away._

_"You agreed..." Ciel's voice shook, after all the negotiation he was going to back out now?_

_"Perhaps...but you have such a pretty face...", fingers gripped his chin, tilting his head up._

_"Why not add a little something to sweeten the deal...", the other man said greasily, setting into a half crouch over the short tea table. He grabbed onto Ciel's wrist and pressed it to the chair with his other hand. Sloppy lips pressed to his unmoving, unresponsive one, and bruising hands squeezed his slight arms._

_Ciel's eyes dilated with fear...it hadn't been too long since his ordeal, his voice was stuck, and he couldn't move, he couldn't...he was being manhandled ... Again... His mind shutting down, his defense system coming up only way it knew how..._

Xxx

Was that what he always was? A victim...a weakling...he could till feel that man's touch...it disgusted him. He disgusted him. He hated it. He hated himself...

He reached for the soap blindly, and then started rubbing hard, his nails clawing angry red lines down the side of his face, it hurt...and he thought he deserved it...

Xxx

_A hand moved behind his neck, reaching for the tie that held his eye patch into place._

_That movement snapped Ciel out of his trance, "No," he whispered._

_The fingers didn't relent, tugging at the string._

_"I said no..." Ciel said louder, his legs kicking out and catching the edge the table sending the teapot tottering to the ground with a crash, as his hands smacked away Blackmore's fingers._

_The Lord was shocked at the blow, before sneering, "Then I'm afraid we have no deal, Earl." _

_No deal... The words rang in his head as he numbly watched the leaving back of Lord Blackmore._

Xxx

A sense of failure washed over him, would he give up his body for the sake of his goals...he shivered. Partly for the even thinking the thought, as the hot water ran out and started turning tepid.

"...young master..." a muffled voice behind the door.

Ciel blinked at the sound, droplets of water falling from his lashes, and then there was Sebastian...

Xxx

_Sebastian's face was his usual expressionless demeanor, but he did hope... a small tiny bit of him wanted his young master to succeed. It would also be somewhat an aknowledgement of his tutelage as well...was this what they called a dash of pride? The thought ran cold anyway, catching sight of Lord Blackmore slinking out of the parlor..._

_Ciel was still sitting, blankly staring at the wall...did Sabastian just run in? His brain flicked that piece of information to him. It didn't matter, he had failed because he had balked, he didn't hold his ground like Sebastian said he must, he had let past events control him...he wondered if Sebastian was disappointed in his inability...or was it disability he thought bitterly._

_The tea was soaking into the carpet, but Sebastian only regarded it as an annoyance, trivial...compared to his master who was spacing out..._

_"Young master..." he tried, keeping his tone neutral._

_When Ciel didn't respond, he reached out with a gloved hand, poised to touch Ciel's shoulder._

_A brilliant blue eye snapped up at him, jerking away from the potential contact, "Don't touch me..." the boy said more to himself if anything._

_Sebastian recoiled his fingers, but his master still continued, "don't touch me...don't touch me..." Ciel crouched on the floor, palms covering his ears, "don't touch me...don't touch me..." he chanted, like it was the only thing keeping him safe from the horrors of the world._

Xxx

Ciel flinched as he heard Sebastian enter the bathroom without his leave.

"Young master..."

Was that relief in Sebastian's voice?

"...what did you do..."

He detected a hint of dismay in his butlers tone...

What...what did he do? How did he mess up again? He didn't want to mess up again...no...no...no...

His legs couldn't support him anymore, as they gave way, expecting his knees to crash onto the tiled floor, he was instead supported by strong arms that eased him onto the floor. Too numb to react to the touch.

The water from the shower was now icy cold, it pelted Sebastian's clothed form as he shielded Ciel from the spray...pulling the boy against his chest.

His feelings in turmoil, so long since anything besides greed, lust and sins of the sort had roused his heart, but with his young master spending the better part of an hour in a shower in that state, he was relieved? (Was this the feeling?) To find that Ciel was still standing...

That was until he saw the angry red lines that snaked over his masters naked form...

Sebastian reached up to turn off the shower, careful not to jostle the bundle in his arms as he groped for the towel and draped it over Ciel...

Xxx

_Bath...you need to wash his touch off now...water...bath..._

_Some small part of Ciel's mind screamed at him, Ciel whimpered at the badgering thoughts, a rationale part of him told him that Sebastian was there..._

_"Shower..." _

_Sebastian caught the word, and said smoothly, "It is already prepared, young master."_

_Ciel forced himself to walk, swaying in a daze, towards his bathroom, and then firmly shutting the door behind him._

_Sebastian wanted to reach out and steady his master's steps, but quickly reconsidered after the previous reaction, instead keeping a watchful eye on Ciel was the boy made his own way to the shower. Yes...he a demon of so long...had finally found someone to care about again, it seemed...almost comical if it weren't for the situation, who was he to go feeling for things again after giving up his humanity for darker pleasures..._

Xxx

Ciel barely registered what happened, as he watched the edges of the towel soak up the water on the floor...only that Sebastian was the one supporting him again...

"Failure is the mother of success," Sebastian murmured against Ciel's head, he hoped that hearing a sensible quote from his human kin would help...not quite realising it was more than the failure...

"I could have had success today," Ciel said dully, hunkering further into the warmth of the body that held him.

Sebastian tensed a little, refusing to jump to conclusions, he tightened his arms surrounding his young master. Allowing Ciel to speak in his own pace...never had he felt so impatient...his young master always brought out the very human side of him.

"He touched me Sebastian, his lips, his hands..." Ciel shook slightly, a trembling hand poking out from the fluff of the towel with the intent to claw the ghost of the touch away from his face again.

"Stop..." Sebastian said softly, catching Ciel's wrist, before he could hurt himself.

"I can...I can still feel him..." Ciel took shaky breaths, "just let me..."

"Let you..." Sebastian said as calmly as he could, "let you harm yourself, My Lord, what a poor butler I would be if I cannot even prevent this." Sebastian was seething in rage, Ciel was his master...his... the possessiveness in his thoughts was foreign to him, but Ciel's next words jolted him back from his thoughts.

"You weren't there..." Ciel whispered.

Yes, he wasn't... He wasn't there to protect his master. Dreaded thoughts threatened to go down that path of self blame till Sebasitan's demon side halted it in it's tracks, he wouldn't go there...no...

"I'm -"

"Shh...Sebastian," Ciel didn't want to hear the apology, couldn't hear it...he had dismissed his butler anyway...it wasn't Sebastian's fault...it only emphasized his weakness, but now that the shock of the morning was wearing off... he did want to do something...something...

It simmered in his heart, the aching need to get back, his whole existence was already built on revenge...why not start now, and start with this small fry of a Lord. He would pay for doing that to him, Ciel's resolve hardened, and with the company's head gone and a weak support management for such a selfish leader, it was a simple matter to acquire the supply firm. To kill two birds with one stone and restore his pride...he only had to take his first kill...a slight shiver went up his spine...from pleasure or from fear? No one would ever see him as a weak child anymore...never...

Sebastian felt the stony veneer that was his master settle back onto Ciel's face, his young masters back straightening ever so slightly.

"Will you kill him for me Sebastian," Ciel asked quietly, rationally, like having conversation over tea, instead of being half soaked in the shower.

If his butler was surprised by his request, it did not show, as he replied customarily with a 'yes, My Lord'.

"By tomorrow," Ciel stated, leaning into Sebastian, silently drawing strength, the ordeal of considering a man's death taxed him much...

Before he would have never considered it, but now the ease of which the thought came to him and the power he had through Sebastian to execute it both thrilled and sent him into despair as the innocence he once had was further shrouded in darkness.

Xxx

Sebastian watched the figure on the bed, as he rubbed a soothing balm onto the lined back, inflicted by his masters nails.

Ciel was drifting off to sleep, after he had failed to batter away the hands of his butler armed with the cream and just surrendered to them, Sebastian's hands were working out every last tense muscle.

Sebastian thought about the order his master had given him, the first life he would take on his master's account. And with this, his young master's soul would only be pulled deeper into the abyss he was pushed in to. After the first, it was always easier...

Did he pity the boy drifting off to sleep under his care? Or was he pleased at how much more flavour it added to his masters soul?

Revenge was always a thorny path, a game that was trecherous to play...but now that his master had cast his lot...he wondered how much his master was willing to gamble...and how much more his young master's soul could handle...

Xxx

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**Thanks for reading! Share your thoughts... ^^"**

**If you're wondering, yes the fantasy was an innocent totally non lemony scene in the shower yea...xD**

**Also, since I'm busy these days, there will still be updates just not anytime soon...I can't bear to abandon my SebaCiel feels for long anyway T.T**

**Thanks again and mata ne :)**


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